For any couple, planning a wedding is stressful enough, but can you imagine how much more tense it can become when only one of you seems to be interested in doing any of the planning? Well for a little while that was kind of my story. When we first started wedding planning Mr T seemed really disinterested and it seriously irked me, but instead of asking why? I assumed he didn’t want to have anything to do with it or worse, he didn’t really want to get married anymore?
One day I finally plucked up the courage to ask him what was going on and he seemed totally oblivious to it all? That was when I realised that rather than being disinterested in the wedding, he actually had no clue what needed to be done? At one point he told me that he genuinely thought you booked the venue, and somebody there would do it all for you? I MEAN SERIOUSLY?!?!
Maybe as a wedding blogger it all seems so obvious to me but after chatting with friends, I now know Mr T is not the only hubby-to-be that is totally clueless to the world of wedding planning, which is why today I am sharing my top tips for getting him involved.
1. Tell Him What He’s Responsible For
As I am a wedding blogger it isn’t too surprising that Mr T, naturally thought I would take care of everything when it came to the planning but it was really important to me that we planned our wedding day together. Like many guys he is totally unaware of what needs to be done so I just had to tell him! At first he was a little shocked at how much there was to do and how much money would be needed to do it, but now he is way more prepared and I think he actually welcomed the guidance.
2. Don’t Get Offended When He Tell’s You To Do What You Want
When we first started making our home together I would always show Mr T images that I had pinned or cut out of interior magazines illustrating how I wanted our house to look. He would quickly glance over them and tell me how nice it was, rarely disagreeing with me. Eventually I asked him why he always seemed so impartial and his reply was “A man builds a house and woman builds a home.” Whilst the feminist in me was screaming, “I can build a house too!” The romantic in me was thinking “aww, how sweet!”
Since then that’s how our partnership works, I show him what I want done and he does it for me. And as a traditional at heart that is how he see’s our wedding? He trusts my judgement and if on the odd occasion he doesn’t agree he will let it be known, he isn’t a pushover by any means. So don’t always interpret a lack of input as disinterest, he might just actually agree with you more often than not.
3. Ask Him To Write His Own Guest list
One of the first things I asked Mr T to do was write his own guest list. Just because we have been together for 4 years, doesn’t mean I know who he wants to share in his wedding day – especially as he has so many close circles of friends. This meant Mr T was involved from the beginning and we were able to create a guest list that truly included all those family and friends that were most important to us.
4. Let Him Choose His Own Outfit
I knew way before we even got engaged what sort of attire Mr T had planned for the big day. It is something he has always had in mind and although it wouldn’t be my first choice, what matters, is that he has chosen what he wants and is most comfortable in. In the same way I wouldn’t let him have a say in my dress, so why should I expect to choose his?
5. Let Him Decide On His Own Stag Party
Much like his outfit I always knew Mr T had his eye on Vegas and I have never had a problem with that. I trust him implicitly and much like the outfits I wouldn’t let him have a say in mine so why should I have a say in his? (more…)