Stationery by Emily Mcdowell Draws
Back in the day, what did couples do with their time? In the days when there were no TVs or phones or game consoles to distract them from each other, did they spend true quality time together? Have conversations without phones going off? I believe so.
I don’t know about you but being distracted by phones has caused several arguments in my relationship, mostly on my part bringing up the fact that I’m not receiving the full attention I want. Is that bad? Is that demanding? I don’t know. All I know is, I’m just as guilty and it needs to change!
We’ve become a nation OBSESSED with being connected at all times and the thought of being out of signal or wifi or 3G terrifies us! Heaven forbid we can’t check our emails or social networking sites for a day or two!
I’m sick of looking across the dinner table and seeing my other half engaged in his phone and I’m sure he’s just as sick at me for scrolling through the Twitter and Instagram feeds while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil. What happened to waking up in the morning and the first thing you do is kissing your other half good morning? Not waking up in the morning and grabbing your phone to check the time and being distracted by notifications on your screen and feeling the instant need to find out exactly what happened in those last 7 hours you were asleep!
I went to Glastonbury last summer and for 5 whole days none of us had our phones in use, and it was brilliant. Of course I could never do that in ‘normal life’ and I wouldn’t expect anyone to, but it felt so great to truly absorb what was going on around me and I can honestly say I felt so connected to everyone, purely because we were all dedicating full attention to each other.
Don’t get me wrong, I think that social media can be AMAZING. I love the people that technology has brought into my life and without it I wouldn’t know such inspiring men and women, I just think we really need to learn when to use it and more importantly when not to use it. Even James & I got together because of talking on Facebook! But now, I want nothing more than to devote more time to the people in front of me rather than the people I haven’t even met and seeing what they had for lunch.
When we constantly check our phones and we’re supposed to be spending time with each other it sends the message that what’s on my screen right now is more important than you. And that’s just awful.
Please tell me I’m not the only one feeling this way. Do you have this problem? Or this argument? Or do you think it’s fine to be constantly doing this? When and how do we learn to switch off? Or should we even? Are we supposed to adapt and grow with technology and stop being stuck in the past ways of life? Or is spending ‘quality’ time together still about devoting true attention to each other with no distractions? Maybe I’m just being too demanding and unrealistic, but then again, maybe I’m not…
Much Bespoke Love