Have you ever been so overwhelmed by a situation that it leaves you paralysed? You feel crushed, sick, anxious, angry, sad all at the same time? Nothing anyone can say will help and it takes all the energy you can muster to even be still and just cry? I have heard a lot of people talk about this on other blogs so I know I am not the only one that feels it but when it is happening to you, you can’t help but feel alone.
It is something I speak very rarely about and admitting this to you today is really very scary but here goes, I suffer from severe anxiety. Or should I say I used to suffer with severely and then I met Jess and she completely changed my outlook on life, but that is whole different story for another day. Now and again it comes back to rear its ugly head, however I am proud to say it is very rare and in the last two years I have only suffered two bouts of mild anxiety. My last episode was just before christmas. With the stresses of money, work and the impending festive period… I was starting to feel drained, tired, breathless, sick, my body ached, and I would wake up in the middle of the night and feel as though someone was sitting on my chest, symptoms that those of you that suffer from anxiety will know all too well.
I have two main triggers that usually cause my anxiety levels to rocket. In the past my main one was work pressures, although that is a lot less now I work for myself (it certainly helps having a job you love!). The other is money, or the lack of (the downside of working for yourself, the irony!). Basically, I have a crippling desire to want to make everyone happy and if I think that isn’t going to happen, I beat myself up – big time! I honestly don’t know how this happened? I have never had a bad experience with money, I have never been so poor that I have had bailiffs knocking at the door or had to live off noodles. I have never failed an exam or failed to meet a work deadline. I just for some reason hate the thought that I might let someone down. I have extremely supportive friends, family and Mr T is amazing so as I said, I can’t tell you why I worry so much about these things, I just do?Details