Will You Ever Be Ready? 5 Questions To Help You Through The Self-Doubt.
We’re so pleased to welcome Fifi Scarlett back to the stage today to kick that self doubt to the curb! We all know that feeling, it’s only natural to question what if and sometimes think of the worst but the real trick is turning that negative thought into something you can use and learn how to kick self-doubts ass along the way! Here’s Fifi to break it down for you…
Ever had the experience of not feeling ready? That feeling of self-doubt. No matter what it is: a new project, a big client or maybe even a new business venture. That feeling can creep in at any given moment. But you want this big thing, right? This big thing is going to propel you into the stratospheric heights of success, yeah?
But even with the determination to succeed, you end up asking yourself: “Am I ready for this? Am I the person to do this? Am I capable of accomplishing this?” How do you differentiate between stupid, self-sabotaging DOUBT, and that gut feeling that everyone is telling you to follow? Which way is up, and which is down? How much more advice can you receive before you know that you’re ready?! What should you DO?!
Urgh, so many questions. Let’s simplify this… with some more questions!
1) Ask yourself: What do I want?
Knowing what you want is a great start. Do you want to be featured in that magazine? Do you want to get involved in that styled shoot? Do you want to work with this client? Although you might not know if this is the right TIME, you’ll know if it’s what you want. And if you want it, why the hell shouldn’t you have it?! So go get it tiger!
If, however, you’re not sure you even want to do it (icky feelings/negative vibes) then you are better off laying it to rest. Leave it until you REALLY want to and that way you will only have amazing results, fuelled by your passion and excitement.
Just because it might be right for someone else to do or that it might push your career forward, doesn’t mean that it is what you want. This is where you need to figure out what your gut feelings are telling you. Listen.
2) Ask yourself: What’s stopping me?
If your gut is telling you to go for it, but you’re still unsure about moving forward, there is still something holding you back. But what is it? It’s an excuse. Yes. Sorry if that offended you, it’s out of love, believe me. Once you’ve faced up to your excuse, or excuses, you’re going to be in a far better frame of mind to put them to one side or eliminate them once and for all.
Whatever it is that you’re telling yourself: I haven’t got the qualifications. I’ve got to keep that weekend free to do XYZ. I don’t have the equipment/money/time/(insert anything), to achieve that…
You know that it is nonsense. You are a resourceful person, you’re good at what you do, and that excuse you’re making is just not good enough! Not good enough to keep you stuck!
3) Ask yourself: When is the right time?
If you answer this question with ‘someday’ then I’ve got news for ya: someday isn’t a day of the week, buddy. Meaning that with this attitude you won’t even attempt to embark on this endeavour!
Let me share a little secret with you… The time will never be right. There will always be something else in your jar-of-life taking up the time and space that you feel you need to dedicate towards this. And that is why you need to MAKE the time right, you need to make space for this to come into your life. And the only way to do that is to start before you are ready. Let me say that again for you… BEFORE you are ready.
If you are a cautious person, like myself, this thought will be sending you into a tiz. When I first heard this I think I had a small palpitation and nearly fell off my chair. But this is sound advice, all the top dogs are saying it, even Branson is a purveyor of this little tit-bit of advice. Still feeling a little nervous?
4) Ask yourself: If all goes to plan, if I succeed, how will this change my life?
(I’m full of all the best questions, I know!) If you could travel to the future and see how this decision has positively affected your life, I’m sure you would have absolutely no doubt about whether or not you were capable.
You’d see it with your own eyes and know that it was a perfectly good choice to make. Sadly, we can’t yet travel to the future or predict whether something will work out. But we still have our imagination and if you can sit and think about just how fabulous life will be on the other side of this big scary thing it’ll help you through. Even if it is just to prove to yourself that you could do it, even if it is to feel a little bit chuffed that you took the risk. In my last post here on Bespoke Bride we talked a little bit about how lucky you are as an entrepreneur or small business owner to be able to shape your business to suit your lifestyle.
We’ll I’d like to reiterate here that taking this massively scary actions are what CHANGES our lives dramatically and you have the power to shape your life and business into something that suits YOU. Not your best friend, not your neighbour, not your parents, but YOU. You can change your life. Truth.
5) If it all went wrong, what is the worst that could happen?
Ooooh! Go on, get on over to the dark side, how bad could it get? Quite bad? Very bad? Excruciatingly badly bad? List it all. Once you know what all of the REAL fears are you’ll be able to clarify that they are a load of old rubbish. Nothing you can’t handle! Am I right?
I bet you aaaany money, that as bad as it could go there is always a way to bounce back from it. And on the plus side there is always a lesson to learn from it. So, all in all, it’s not so bad. You gain the knowledge that you didn’t have before and you end up where you started. People always moan about being back to square one but to be honest, you are never back to square one because you’ll now be armed with a tonne more information then you did when you started.
If it falls apart or it doesn’t turn out as planned, you may look like an idiot, a fool, but I tell you what (speaking from experience): nobody really cares. Nobody that sees you fall is going to laugh for long, if they laugh at all. In fact, they are more likely to pick you up, dust you off and tell you how brave you were for trying.
Because if we don’t try, if we don’t start and if we don’t get past the self-doubt then nothing will change, no one would grow or expand, including yourself. Next time you feel self-doubt creeping in ask yourself these questions. After having this little heart-to-heart with yourself, you’ll feel WAY stronger in your decision to move forward. Keep going!
“If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.” ― Harvey MacKay.
Much Bespoke Love